I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
