I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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