we made out on top of his cat.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
