You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
