before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
