Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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