we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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