he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
