You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
