we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize