I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
