Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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