the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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