So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
