you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
