im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I could fuck to npr.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
