Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
soo... how was my night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
