No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
