So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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