dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
