pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
