Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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