Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
