Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
