i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
