so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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