Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
