she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
