i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
