bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
