i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
