There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
