I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
