My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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