i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
