omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I understand Curling. That high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
