Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
