I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
