Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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