Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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