The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
