Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
should my penis look like a turkey
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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