We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
