So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
