We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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