is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
