I want to have your abortion
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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