Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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