there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Farmville is her only friend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize