come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
