1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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