Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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