"it" just moved
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
