we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
