and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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