So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
