I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
