Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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