Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
two words...techno handjob
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
