Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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