but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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