You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
