everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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