i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
