then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
